she looked like the before picture.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize