these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
