Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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