I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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