ya dads aren't the best wingmen
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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