im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize