Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
