I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
