I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
so much tequila, so little girl.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
