I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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