i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
