its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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