i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
