i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
