just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
