i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
