Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
