i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
