it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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