Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
