apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize