I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
