i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
