I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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