We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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