He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
