The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize