I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
