Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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