I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We talked him into tasing himself.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize