did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
