Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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