i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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