I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
