one might say we're banned from that church
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
