I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
