Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
this is an emotional support booty call
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
