Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
