So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
