if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
