after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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