i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Randomize
