How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
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