I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
