I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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