you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
