All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
