it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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