hotel room ftw
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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