Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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