you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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