I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
