Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
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