Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
