This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
