If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
