But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
