So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The air was thick with penises
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
